Caerus

As you might have noticed it is the time of the exams, and what goes hand in hand with exams? Coffee. Grab your own cup as you take a short break from studying and enjoy these short stories on the brew from the heavens themselves.

Coffee Controversy

Hugo Rosado, respected caretaker, caught committing coffee-related offence

29th of October, Groningen

One of University College’s most trusted employees, Mr. Hugo Rosado, is rumoured to have been committing a coffee cup-related offence on late Wednesday afternoon. The crime allegedly took place in Classroom Big B, where he was spotted repairing a broken monitor with a coffee cup in hand.

The blow to Mr. Rosado’s authority that these revelations will undoubtedly have is especially hard to swallow, as his commitment to stop both students and staff members alike from entering  entering classrooms with hot drinks is unwavering. and his strict rules apply to both students and staff members alike.

The question now becomes whether these accusations will have any impact on the amount of hot beverages that students will bring into class. However, considering that findings from before the incident clearly showed a blatant disregard for the rule anyway, it’s safe to say that probably not much is going to change.

Sorry, Hugo.

A Creepy Caffeine Case

It's half past five on a Friday, you're alone for all you know, and  it looks like everyone has already left. It's the end of October and it's dark outside.

You hear the wind blow through the leaves outside and the rain clatters hard against the windows. You want to leave through the emergency exit to go back to your warm home, but when trying to open the door, you seem to notice it's blocked.

You push hard against the red bar, but you can't open the door. Did they lock the door at this time? Did everyone leave already? You didn't hear or see anyone, they might actually have.

You try to open the door again, when suddenly... BAARGGHHHHHHSSSHSHHHSH!! Behind you, hot steam comes shooting out from the coffee machine with the power of at least 5 nuclear bombs.

Startled, but curious, you slowly walk towards the coffee machine, which is still violently spewing out dirty, hot water. Steam rises with a sound of mockery, mocking those who payed off their previous nights drinking with the expensive coffee from the machine itself.
You start to wonder what the hell is happening. The DE logo seems to laugh at you. The machine screams in its steamy voice: "les grains de café sont un mensonge... un mensonge!" You walk towards the machine and ask, hesitantly: "a lie?" "Oui, oui. It's no fancy café. It's instant coffee!" It screams at you.

"How is that possible? It tasted so good!" "Have you ever seen the beans de café move?" It asks, in a French accent, "C'est un trick." You're only more confused, 'why is this machine so French?', you start asking yourself. And where is everyone?

You suddenly hear a sound, you jerk your head towards it and see - thank god, it's only Ryan. Then another sound, you look and see Ferdinand. Thank god, there are people here. You ask them if they also heard the machine talk in its steamy voice.
They don't seem to hear you. All they say is, "Look at Europe, 50 years, scenario" They repeat it, synchronised now. "Look at Europe, 50 years, scenario". They keep repeating themselves. What in the world is happening? You close your eyes and when you open them you see your classmates all looking bored.

You inspect the classroom, still confused and feeling tired, only to see Albert talking about Europe falling apart. Thank god, that's all.

Big thanks to coffee, the unsung hero of our exam periods, as well as a big thanks to Hugo for cleaning up after our messes.