Horoscope - December
Horoscope - December
The present horoscope is based on an ancient tradition of reading toilet paper to predict the future. Predictions are proven to be completely 100%-of-the-time accurate.
Aries21st Mars - 20th April Work: Aristotle said that one should be aware of their own ignorance. This month you should never overlook sound advice. Love: Your partner may be closer than you think. Other: You definitely need carrots. |
Taurus21st April - 20th May Work: Obstacles don’t exist for you as you weave your own road forward. Have faith in yourself ! Love: It may be time for some new discoveries. Other: Beware of spices. |
Gemini21st May - 21st June Work: One side is hypocrisy, the other is embarrassment. Think wisely before throwing the coin. Love: Confess your love if you haven’t. Otherwise tell your partner that you love them. Other: Take the time to sleep. |
Cancer22nd June - 22nd JulyWork: Life is like a pendulum swinging from boredom to despair. What a great man this Schopenhauer is. Love: You will be surrounded in love as much as you deserve. Other: Eat regularly ! |
Leo23rd July - 22nd August Work: Why work when you can have fun? Well, you see the results… Love: Enjoying your sex life is good, but try not to go overboard Other: Take care of your throat |
Virgo23rd August - 22nd September Work: Uni may seem hard for you, but you always have the light at the end of the tunnel. Don’t give up yet ! Love: It’s time to confront what is not right in your relationship. Don’t keep suffering. Other: You need a Teddy bear. |
Libra23rd September - 22nd October Work: Your work will soon get the acknowledgement it deserves. Keep your head up. Love: Something good is going to happen to you sooner than you may think. Other: Don’t cut onions. |
Scorpio23rd October - 22nd November Work: However shitty a situation may seem, there is still hope. Or maybe not. Love: You need to talk, otherwise your family / partner cannot understand you. Other: Your lucky color is red |
Sagittarius23rd November - 21st December Work: This is YOUR month ! The astral odds are with you, an opportunity might arise, up to you to seize it. The same water doesn’t fall twice under a bridge. Love: Perhaps the desert isn’t that empty. Other: Be careful of high places. |
Capricorn22nd December - 20th January Work: Following the trend may work for some time but won’t solve your problem. Try being the Lion instead. Love: Originality. Surprise your partner or family, and you will be suppressed in return Other: Bring a scarf, be wary of the cold. |
Aquarius21st January - 19th February Work: You’ve already done plenty. Stop for a while, look at the sky, and just appreciate the present moment. Love: Everything will go fine like a fish in water. Other: Don’t forget to turn off the light. |
Pisces20th February - 20th Mars Work: Do not count your chickens before they hatch. You should finish your own work before thinking of doing more. Love: You need to finish the present book to start a new one. It might be time to turn the page Other: Sleep. Sleep. And even more sleep. |
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